1 in 5 of Your Team Is Neurodivergent. Here's How to Lead Them, with Cara Wilson
How to Lead Neurodivergent Employees Without Getting It Wrong
Roughly 15 to 20 percent of the population is neurodivergent. That means every leader is already managing neurodivergent people, whether they know it or not. Most don't know it. Many of those employees are masking so well you'd never guess, and it's costing them enormous energy.
In this episode I sit down with Cara Wilson, a people and culture leader and executive coach who spent years coaching software engineers at companies like Tableau. She eventually realized why she connected so well with engineers: many of them process the world the way she does. Cara is autistic and has ADHD, a discovery she made less than two years ago, and it reframed her entire career.
Why Your Best Engineers Argue With Every Framework
If you've ever presented a framework to a technical team and watched them try to tear it apart, this conversation will change how you read that moment. Cara explains that many analytical minds learn by trying to break an idea. If they can't break it, they'll accept it. It's not disrespect. It's how they establish trust in an idea. Leaders who take it personally miss the opportunity, and coaches who get defensive lose the room.
Make the Implicit Explicit
The core leadership move in this episode: make the implicit explicit. Workplace culture runs on unwritten rules that neurotypical brains absorb intuitively. Other brains need those rules spelled out. Cara shares why writing down the "obvious" stuff, from how to manage up to how meetings actually work, levels the playing field for everyone on the team, not just neurodivergent employees.
We also get into the harder territory: disclosure and psychological safety. It isn't safe for everyone to be open about their neurotype at work, and Cara argues the burden of inclusion belongs on organizations, not individuals.
Key Takeaways
00:00 – Decision fatigue and the case for a work uniform
04:50 – What neurodivergent actually means (and what it doesn't)
07:16 – Why coaching engineers taught Cara she was coaching neurodivergent minds
09:13 – The "break it to trust it" learning style of analytical brains
12:59 – When an employee asks for a protocol instead of intuition
13:39 – Make the implicit explicit: the single most inclusive leadership habit
15:03 – Why communication breaks down across neurotypes (and what research shows)
18:16 – Disclosure, psychological safety, and who carries the burden of inclusion
21:21 – Cara's autism discovery at midlife and the real cost of masking
24:16 – Why every coach already has neurodivergent clients
29:54 – Where to find Cara
Work With David
If you're leading a technical team and want to become the kind of leader people actually want to follow, explore coaching for individuals, coaching for teams, and speaking at coachfulcoaching.com.
Connect with Cara Wilson: tractionleadershipllc.com or find her on LinkedIn.